Erotic Pain By Lisabet Sarai
Much of my erotic fiction includes aspects of dominance and submission—partly because that’s what pushes my personal buttons. One of the most perplexing aspects of BDSM, for people without real world experience, is the question of how pain could be arousing. In a consensual BDSM scenario, both the Dom and the sub supposedly enjoy what’s going on. But how could activities that hurt be enjoyable?
The answer to this question is multi-faceted. At the biological level, there is significant evidence that sexual arousal changes pain thresholds and pain perception, although the mechanisms underlying these changes are not completely understood. Both hormones (epinephrine and norepinephrine) and endogenous opiates (“endorphins”) are believed to play a role. Thus, experienced dominants will often “warm up” a submissive, starting with less extreme pain and mixing it with sexual stimulation, before moving to more painful activities. To put it succinctly, when you’re horny, things don’t hurt as much!
Meanwhile, there are many psychological factors that motivate a submissive to accept or even desire pain administered by the dominant. One aspect involves conditioning. When painful and pleasurable stimuli are experienced together, the sub “learns” to associate pain with pleasure. For example, the bottom may be penetrated with a vibrator (normally an arousing activity) while being whipped. Eventually whipping alone may evoke a sexual response.
The submissive also derives emotional satisfaction from the notion that the master is getting off, even though the dominant’s pleasure may require the sub to endure significant pain. Every relationship is different, but this aspect of submission — devotion to the dom and dedication to pleasing him — was one of the most potent aspects of my own BDSM experience.
Still, the cut of a cane, the sting of a crop or the burn of melting wax don’t stop being painful, no matter how much you love your master. I remember introspecting once, in a scene that involved rubber bands and a wooden ruler, thinking “What am I doing? Am I crazy? That hurts like hell!” Yet I didn’t tell my master to stop. I didn’t want him to stop—far from it. The pain somehow just pushed me higher. I wanted more intensity, not less.
I started out trying to explain the appeal of pain in a D/s context, but I find that at its heart, it truly is a mystery. Maybe it’s just something you have to experience. Or perhaps you can understand, a bit, if you can identify strongly enough with a fictional heroine.
In my new novel, The Gazillionaire and the Virgin, my heroine Rachel endures some fairly extreme pain at the hands of her lover Theo. After the fact, indeed, he’s appalled by the damage he seems to have done. She never flinches, though. I love her courage and her devotion to Theo. If you enjoy BDSM erotic romance, I think you will too.
~ ~ ~
This post is part of my Gazillionaire and Virgin blog tour, running from February 1st to 15th. Leave me a comment on this post, including your email address, and I’ll enter you to win a $50 bookstore gift certificate (first prize) or a print copy of the new book (second prize). Visit all the stops for more chances to win. You’ll find the full list here:
When Silicon Valley entrepreneur Rachel Zelinsky meets reclusive genius Theo Moore, she finds him strangely compelling. Theo is both arrogant and socially awkward, but he has an aura of power that speaks to Rachel’s carefully-hidden submissive side. Disturbed and aroused, she tries to focus on her original objective—a deal to incorporate his Artificial Intelligence software into her company’s popular virtual world. Rachel’s not a woman who lets pleasure interfere with business, but for some reason, she can’t resist Theo’s geeky appeal.
Theo Moore can’t be bought. His past battles with poverty make him deeply suspicious of the billionaire CEO. Still, with her voluptuous curves and brilliant mind, Rachel embodies his ultimate sexual fantasy. Too bad his knowledge about sex derives from extensive research and a stash of kinky porn rather than real-world experience.
That doesn’t bother Rachel, however. In his bed—in his arms—in his bonds—she discovers the bliss of total surrender. Rachel may be Theo’s first lover, but Theo is Rachel’s first true Master—and the first man to truly touch her heart. It seems that love may harmonize their differing goals and values, until Rachel’s unwitting violation of Theo’s trust threatens to tear them apart forever.
LISABET SARAI occasionally tackles other genres, but BDSM will always be her first love. Every one of her nine novels includes some element of power exchange, while her D/s short stories range from mildly kinky to intensely perverse.
You’ll find information and excerpts from all Lisabet’s books on her website (http://www.lisabetsarai.com/books.html), along with more than fifty free stories and lots more. At her blog Beyond Romance (http://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com), she shares her philosophy and her news and hosts lots of other great authors. She’s also on Goodreads and finally, on Twitter.
X Rated Excerpt (Theo)
I nearly step on her.
“Rachel! What the—”
She sits cross-legged on the carpet, half-inside my clothes closet, wearing one of my dress shirts, unbuttoned, over her nakedness. Glossy magazines are scattered around her, their covers awash with female flesh—stripped, blindfolded, gagged, clamped, twisted into impossible positions, limbs wrapped in rope or leather, scarlet nipples bulging and sore, eyes full of terror and devotion. One of the publications lies in her lap, open to the Technicolor image of a woman strapped to a padded horse, with some anonymous hand buried to the wrist in her stretched asshole.
Oh God, no! I want to sink through the floor with shame. At the same time, my cock is like stone. “Rachel—um—it’s not what you think…”
She gazes up at me with a half-smile. “Oh? Really?” Her voice is mild. She sounds amused rather than shocked as she gestures at the masses of porn surrounding her. “Are you trying to tell me these aren’t yours?”
“Quite a collection.” As she rolls onto her hip then rises to a kneel, she gives me an appraising look. “I’m impressed.”
“You’re not—not—disgusted?” I’m frozen in place, transfixed by embarrassment and lust. Her lush breasts jiggle as she approaches, still on her knees. I’m so hard it hurts.
“Not at all. This explains quite a lot.” She’s at my feet now, her chin tilted up so she can meet my eyes. Her tawny nipples peek out from the gap in my shirt. Coppery curls frame her angel’s face. “I finally understand, Theo.”
She purses her lips to blow a stream of hot air over my aching erection. My dick jerks. I almost come.
“Mmm…” she hums around my cock, taking the length down her throat, just like the girls in my videos. I forget to be embarrassed. I forget I need a shower. Everything slips away except the juicy warmth of her mouth, the dance of her tongue, the unrelenting suction she applies as she bobs up and down on my shaft.
Oh my God! It’s almost too intense. I close my eyes at first, focusing on the unbelievable sensations. Soon, though, I have to look—it’s just so perfect. Rachel Zelinksy is on her knees! Sucking me like some eager Internet slut. She’s even got her hands clasped behind her back as she leans in to swallow me, as if I’d cuffed her.
Does she know what she’s doing to me? Is this part of her plan? I don’t care. I weave my fingers into her unruly hair and take over, using her mouth to get myself off. Almost immediately, she surrenders. Her lips go slack, stretching to accommodate me, and her jaw relaxes to accept my thrusts. She gags when I push deeper, but when I back off, she follows, burying her nose in my crotch. She wants this. She wants me to fuck her face as if I own her. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.
That knowledge is the detonator. I shudder and explode, flooding her mouth with cum. Her muscles work around my cock as she swallows, triggering another burst. Poor Rachel tries hard, but she can’t keep up with me. As I pull out, semen spills out between her swollen lips to dribble down her chin. Porn-inspired, I aim my still-spurting dick at her glorious tits, painting them with streaks of white.
When I’m finally finished, I collapse to my knees and take her in my arms, smearing my own chest with cum. “Oh, Rachel…” I don’t know what to say. Thank you? I’m sorry? I just kiss her, deep and hard, hoping she’ll understand.