Draculas (or would it be Draculi? ) by Crouch, Kilborn, Strand and Wilson is, as promised, a “balls-to-the-wall” wild ride. The concept is a recipe for terror, the collaboration is seamless, and the pace is mind-boggling. Unfortunately, I think it was a little too rushed to develop fully into what it could have been. Yes, Draculas packs some hard hits—but after a while, the punches start to feel like WWF big-time-wrestling instead of a real sock to the gut.

The “draculas” in the book are definitely not an original breed of vampire with new rules, lore or deep-rooted mythology. We’ve seen creatures like this before—they’re fast-zombies, the kind who eat viscera and cannibalize others and even themselves,

Okay, so it’s a zombie story instead of a vampire one. I can deal. The big all-important question is—are they scary? Well…I think they could have been. The problem is the whole book was in such a hurry that I think it passed up its own potential.

Aside from several issues I found with the editing (I received an ARC of the book, and I’m sure those will be fixed in the final version. But I had to wonder if there would have been fewer issues – like an entire set of three missing characters! – if the book hadn’t gone from rough draft to published in just six weeks) I get the feeling that these four authors were primarily trying to one-up each other.

Who can write the bloodiest, goriest scene? Who can cross the line into black humor so far the line practically disappears? (The humor in Draculas is woefully adolescent and I’m afraid it becomes a parody of itself—jokes range from dracula-clowns making balloon animals out of intestines to fart jokes. Yes, really. Fart jokes. *head-hand*) I don’t know who won their contest, but I think, as a reader, I was the one who lost. Sometimes less really is more.

For me, the best part of the book was the second half—after the story had ended and all the “extras” began. I’m one of those people who loves the “behind the scenes” and “making of” sections of my DVDs. I was thrilled to find this ebook packed with deleted scenes from the book and an “exclusive behind the scenes making of Draculas.” As a writer, I was interested in the collaboration and back-and-forth between the authors—I just wish they’d all done a little less towel-snapping and fist-bumping in the process and instead had used their collective powers for good (or perhaps better evil?) It was clear from the backend material that these guys are good writers, and are fully capable of taking the time to really layer a story with texture and substance. I have hope for and would buy a sequel, even if they won’t give me another ARC after this review.

If you pick up Draculas and you’re expecting subtle terror and suspense (or anything subtle, really) you may be disappointed. But if you’re the type of horror-reader who is entertained by slapstick black humor and you love wet-work and the shock-and-gore torture-porn that’s been released in the genre, then for $2.99, you will receive a screaming-fast, grisly, blood-soaked ride. There’s a huge audience for this stuff, and kudos to these authors for their addition to that genre. In that respect, it’s just what the splatterpunk-lover ordered.

But as an old-fashioned horror-girl who likes reading books that make me check my doors and leave the lights on while I’m reading, I just want readers to know that Draculas is really a ticket for the Fun House—not the Haunted House.

Alex JouJou over at Manic Readers gave me a nice review of Heidi and the Kaiser. And I swear, writes a better blurb than I do!

****

“Heidi and the Kaiser does steamy in spades. From the first encounter the steam is rising—threatening to eclipse all that is around it. Heidi and Kaiser start and remain center stage and their own discoveries compel you to devour each page as if it was connoisseurs chocolate. Rich, decadent, and arousing—a heady wine for your head—the story explodes off the pages.

As you turn each page you really start to want this relationship to work and for Kaiser to realize the gem he’s found in Heidi. You cheer for Heidi to speak up and you become totally invested in them ending up together. The relationship on the surface seems a bit awkward but once you understand each of their thoughts and desires it makes perfect sense.

This is a red hot novel with great characters and a little bit of mystery. Heidi is clearly the underling (pun intended) and you can’t help but want her to get Kaiser in the end. It is like a much spicier and steamier take on the whole Cinderella story. Highly recommended!”

You can own it today!

Christmas Stalking piqued my interest from the first paragraph. It was an outstanding action packed, heart touching story of how Ginny finds her true love. I was intrigued and touched, angry and sad. Ginny was a beautiful woman who was in self preserve mode. Just when I thought she couldn’t take any more, she showed renewed strength.

Nick was the angel we wish all men could be. He was strong, kind, patient and understanding. Together they made the perfect couple.

Selena Kitt did an extraordinary job on Christmas Stalking. I loved this story and cannot wait to read more from her. This would be a story that I would read repeatedly and strongly urge other people to read it as well.